Thank you, everyone, for the supportive emails and comments you've written. I really appreciate it! I would like to invite everyone to send me emails with what you find most challenging about the job- I always love to hear from other nannies and childcare providers! After I get responses, I will post some of them (anonymously, of course). My email is nannyquest@gmail.com. Feel free to share any nanny horror stories, as well. : )
Thanks again! Have a great day and remember to tell your nanny friends about the site...I can also be found at myspace.com/nannyblog.
~nanny: )
www.imyournanny.blogspot.com
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
The Chronically "Accidentally Late" Parent
When we apply for nanny jobs, families expect us to be upfront and honest about everything...our good traits and our bad. For instance, I always tell families that I'm not a very good cook. I can play princess games and hide-and-seek with the best of them, but put me in front of a stove and I can guarantee a good grilled cheese, but nothing much fancier than that.
I only wish, then, that Family #6 that I worked for had been more 'telling' in our interview. If only the nanny-wanted ad had read: "Two beautiful children, one dog, light housework, chronically late mother." The first three I can handle- the fourth would have turned me away from the job in an instant. I'm not so much referring to the "scheduled lateness" that occurs when a parent asks the nanny ahead of time if he or she can stay late next Wednesday because of a meeting. No, here, I am talking about "accidental lateness." The kind the tired nanny didn't anticipate and the kind that leaves her staring at the clock as the minutes slowly creep by as she wonders why it is so hard to get home everyday at 6:00, as that's what she was promised. It's the kind of late that comes with excuses that briefly apologize and then accentuate how being late was no fault of the parent's. When it happens all the time, it's the most frustrating kind of "late."
Here's the thing: nannies are expected to be punctual. If we are not, any number of things could happen: kids are late for school, important business meetings are missed, the generally peaceful household turns into a chaotic mess...things like that. While this might sound dramatic, any nanny who has ever been late on such a "chaotic" morning can tell you all about the stink-eye that she received and the rushed, perturbed hand-over of the kids that she was given. Parents, understandably, don't appreciate a late nanny. For some reason, the chronically late parent doesn't seem to deem his or her tardiness to be quite as problematic as the nanny's. Let me assure you- it is just as annoying for us. After ten hours of dealing with fussy babies, we aren't very excited when our job spills over into the twelfth hour. Our banks and laundromats are closed. It's too late for grocery shopping. And now, our only option is to go home and go to bed because in nine hours, you need us back here to do it all over again.
One time, while babysitting for Family #6, I was having an awful day. The two little boys kept fighting and would not stop arguing with me about the strict "no-t.v. rule" the parents had recently implemented. I was ready to go home, watch my own t.v. and drink a glass of wine. I needed to relax from the long, stressful day. As 6:00 rolled around, I anxiously eyed the driveway for Mom #6's car to pull in, allowing me to return to my own life for a few hours. At 6:30, I began to guess which "accidental late" excuse I had was coming. "Traffic was terrible!"
"Sorry! My haircut took longer than expected!" I called Mom #6's cell phone; it was dead. I made the boys dinner (an exceptionally good grilled cheese, I might add). At 7:15, I started to get nervous. Should I call the hospital? Surely, nothing but an emergency could make someone an hour and fifteen minutes late with no phone call.
At 8:00, the car I had longed to see pulled into the driveway. I expected to see a cast on a broken bone or a dent in the bumper of the car to signal some sort of acceptable excuse for such tardiness. No, instead I saw five Nordstrom bags. Mom #6 rushed into the house and said:
"Sorry! It was Nordstrom's semi-annual clearance sale and I just lost track of time. Oh, good, you made dinner. Okay, you can go and we'll see you in the morning."
She was shopping. There were no hospital emergencies; just discounted jeans. Job #6 continued in this fashion for a very long time. The list of excuses never failed to surprise me. It wouldn't be quite as annoying if this wasn't the same woman who called my cell phone four times once when I was three minutes late. Can you just imagine if I came to her house one morning at 10:00, instead of my regular 8:00? "I'm so sorry! Macy's was having a great sale and I lost track of the time. Okay, you can go now- have a fantastic day!"
I only wish, then, that Family #6 that I worked for had been more 'telling' in our interview. If only the nanny-wanted ad had read: "Two beautiful children, one dog, light housework, chronically late mother." The first three I can handle- the fourth would have turned me away from the job in an instant. I'm not so much referring to the "scheduled lateness" that occurs when a parent asks the nanny ahead of time if he or she can stay late next Wednesday because of a meeting. No, here, I am talking about "accidental lateness." The kind the tired nanny didn't anticipate and the kind that leaves her staring at the clock as the minutes slowly creep by as she wonders why it is so hard to get home everyday at 6:00, as that's what she was promised. It's the kind of late that comes with excuses that briefly apologize and then accentuate how being late was no fault of the parent's. When it happens all the time, it's the most frustrating kind of "late."
Here's the thing: nannies are expected to be punctual. If we are not, any number of things could happen: kids are late for school, important business meetings are missed, the generally peaceful household turns into a chaotic mess...things like that. While this might sound dramatic, any nanny who has ever been late on such a "chaotic" morning can tell you all about the stink-eye that she received and the rushed, perturbed hand-over of the kids that she was given. Parents, understandably, don't appreciate a late nanny. For some reason, the chronically late parent doesn't seem to deem his or her tardiness to be quite as problematic as the nanny's. Let me assure you- it is just as annoying for us. After ten hours of dealing with fussy babies, we aren't very excited when our job spills over into the twelfth hour. Our banks and laundromats are closed. It's too late for grocery shopping. And now, our only option is to go home and go to bed because in nine hours, you need us back here to do it all over again.
One time, while babysitting for Family #6, I was having an awful day. The two little boys kept fighting and would not stop arguing with me about the strict "no-t.v. rule" the parents had recently implemented. I was ready to go home, watch my own t.v. and drink a glass of wine. I needed to relax from the long, stressful day. As 6:00 rolled around, I anxiously eyed the driveway for Mom #6's car to pull in, allowing me to return to my own life for a few hours. At 6:30, I began to guess which "accidental late" excuse I had was coming. "Traffic was terrible!"
"Sorry! My haircut took longer than expected!" I called Mom #6's cell phone; it was dead. I made the boys dinner (an exceptionally good grilled cheese, I might add). At 7:15, I started to get nervous. Should I call the hospital? Surely, nothing but an emergency could make someone an hour and fifteen minutes late with no phone call.
At 8:00, the car I had longed to see pulled into the driveway. I expected to see a cast on a broken bone or a dent in the bumper of the car to signal some sort of acceptable excuse for such tardiness. No, instead I saw five Nordstrom bags. Mom #6 rushed into the house and said:
"Sorry! It was Nordstrom's semi-annual clearance sale and I just lost track of time. Oh, good, you made dinner. Okay, you can go and we'll see you in the morning."
She was shopping. There were no hospital emergencies; just discounted jeans. Job #6 continued in this fashion for a very long time. The list of excuses never failed to surprise me. It wouldn't be quite as annoying if this wasn't the same woman who called my cell phone four times once when I was three minutes late. Can you just imagine if I came to her house one morning at 10:00, instead of my regular 8:00? "I'm so sorry! Macy's was having a great sale and I lost track of the time. Okay, you can go now- have a fantastic day!"
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